Everytime the Pain Lessens

Why is it that every time I come to terms with it being "over" you call and you want absolutely nothing. You usually talk a whole 2 minutes, just enough to fuck up my rythmn. I keep saying I am not going to answer the phone, but then I think what if I don't answer and this is the call where he says he's sorry and everything is going to be okay. Why do I even care if this is THE phone call? I have got to find a way to let go and move on. I have to find a way to tell you come get your things and please change your mailing address because what we had is over. I have done this before. I know the pain only lasts a little while. I think it is the whole starting over crap I am not looking forward to. Seems like every time it's time to start over I have even more obstacles in my life. Oh Jesus please...everyone tells me you answer prayers...can I get one answered please? I want to be happy, can I have that? For longer than 6 months?